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Blog
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Coming Back After a Busy Stretch
You barely saw each other for two months and now it's awkward in a way neither of you wants to name. What's actually happened, and the unglamorous way out.
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Date Night When There Is No Time
Kids, deadlines, two jobs, a bad month. What to do when the honest answer is that a whole evening isn't available — and why the smaller version is not a consolation prize.
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"I'm Free Whenever" Is Not an Answer
It sounds generous and accommodating. It's the single most reliable way to make sure nothing gets planned — and it quietly moves all the work onto the other person.
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Small Favours Beat Grand Gestures
The research on what actually predicts couples staying together points at something unglamorous: the small requests, and whether they get answered. Why the parcel matters more than the weekend away.
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The Ten-Minute Weekly Check-In
Not a relationship audit and not a therapy exercise. A short, boring, repeated conversation about the week ahead — what goes in it, what to keep out, and why the boring version is the one that survives.
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Shared Calendar Apps for Couples, Compared
Cupla, Between, Google Calendar, Apple's shared calendars and ours — what each is actually built around, which to pick for which problem, and the cases where we'd tell you to use something else.
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Long Distance, and the Arithmetic of Time Zones
The distance isn't the hard part — the overlap is. What a five-hour gap actually leaves you, why "call me when you're free" fails across zones, and the habits couples who make it tend to share.
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When Your Schedules Don't Match
Shift work, opposite hours, one of you nocturnal. What to do when the honest answer is that your free time barely overlaps — including the arithmetic most couples never actually do.
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Why Sharing Your Calendars Doesn't Help
The obvious fix is to let each other see your calendars. Couples try it, and it mostly doesn't work — because a calendar records what you're busy with, and what you need is the opposite.
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Why "We Should Do This More Often" Never Happens
You both mean it. You say it in the car on the way home, and then three months pass. The gap isn't wanting to — it's that a wish has no time attached, and the research on this is unusually clear about the fix.